Momentum Podcast: 522

Life Changer Podcast: Alex Charfen & Sterling Griffin

by Alex Charfen

Episode Description

This is a first for the Momentum Podcast…Recently I recorded an interview with one of my clients, Sterling Griffin, on his podcast, LifeChanger. It was SO good that I had to share it with you guys too. I thought it would be interesting for you to hear me on the other side of an interview, answering questions. I hope you enjoy it! 

To give you a sneak peek, in this episode we go over:

  • The Entrepreneur Personality Type (EPT)
  • Sterling’s growth in our coaching program 
  • How to surround yourself with the right tribe
  • Eliminating pressure and noise in your life 
  • The Billionaire Code 

Full Audio Transcript

This is a first for the Momentum Podcast. I am actually taking a recording that I did with one of my clients, Sterling Griffin for his podcast, LifeChanger, and we're going to share it with you, and here's why. I've been working with Sterling for about 18 months, and the amount of growth he has accomplished has been absolutely incredible. He's gone from about a one million dollar business to well in excess of three.

He's gone from having almost no team, to having a team that's incredible, and crushing it every day. The amount of evolution he's gone through in the time we've worked together has been extraordinary. So I'm excited to share this podcast with you. I think it'll be interesting for you to hear me on the other side of the interview, actually answering the questions, and I'd love to hear what you think.

Sterling G.: Welcome back to the LifeChanger Podcast, very excited for today's guest, the one, the only, the solid man himself, the barrel chested Alex Charfen.

Alex Charfen: Hey Sterling, thanks for having me brother.

Sterling G.: It's my pleasure, man. So this is a cool podcast that we're getting to do, because I've actually worked with you as one of my mentors over the last 18 months. It's been cool, because you are one of those people ... I hope you don't mind me sharing some of this, that you're one of those people, which is, you're a very interesting kind of mentor, because I feel like I've worked with literally a dozen different mentors in my business career so far. I love working with mentors, that's like my favorite thing.

What I found is that ... and you know this, that when I work with a mentor, I typically work with them very intensely. I extract all of their knowledge within about three or four months, and then I'm on to the next one. Even if their program's a year long. I'm like, "Let me get everything I can, and then I'm going to move on." I told you when we first started working together-

Alex Charfen: You explained that to me. When we started working together, you actually told me that's what you were going to do.

Sterling G.: I was like, "All right. I work faster than most people. I'm just going to get it and move on. Just so you know. Is that cool?" And you were like, "We'll see about that." What happened was, I not only have stayed for the full first term, but I've continued on for at least another year. It's like you're just this endless knowledge of business. Most people have one set of skills, and you just understand business at a completely different level. So I'm excited to share your genius with my students.

Alex Charfen: Thanks man. It's really fun to be here. It's been really intense working with you for the past 18 months. In fact, Sterling, after we were off of our call, yesterday after you signed off, just so everybody knows, Sterling was on one of our group coaching calls yesterday and we had a really intense interaction that just showed this evolution over the past 18 months, and I would say just in the past six months.

And so, I think what's been really interesting about working with you is that I've worked with hundreds of entrepreneurs, but so few of them have evolved and shifted, and changed, and allowed their beliefs to grow as much as you have in 18 months, and it's been amazing to watch, dude. I think when we started working together, I knew I was going enjoy having you as a client. The pleasant surprise has been, that it's been really amazing having you as a friend and getting to know you.

Sterling G.: Thank you, man. Thank you so much for that. Well, I will say, you've been a big influence in my life, not just in business, but in where I live, because I now live in Austin because of your influence. This is like the entrepreneur town-

Alex Charfen: Yeah, it is.

Sterling G.: ... of America. So it's been amazing. All right, so let's dive right in. So one thing I wanted to ask you about is, you have this defined language around being an entrepreneur, and how entrepreneurs are distinct or are different. A lot of people listening to this, they kind of have a lot of those feelings, but they've never actually been a successful entrepreneur, at least not yet. Or if they have, they're still kind of in the beginning stages of that process. Can you speak to what you mean when you say, "An EPT," and how entrepreneurs think differently than most people do?

Alex Charfen: Absolutely Sterling. You know, here's how I define entrepreneurs. When you say, "EPT," the Entrepreneurial Personality Type, see, I don't think that only people who are running businesses have the Entrepreneurial Personality Type. I think a lot of people working in businesses, I think people who are writing the play, performing the play, who are in the movie, who are writing the movie, who are producing, directing, people who are doing things in the world, creating new, have this Entrepreneurial Personality Type.

Here's how I'd define it. The Entrepreneurial Personality Type is, "A momentum-based being that is highly reactive to constraint." What I mean by that is, we are this small percentage of the population that is driven by forward progress. It's not like we want it, we need it. We need forward progress and momentum, and that feeling of accomplishment, the way the rest of the population needs oxygen.

When I look at this small population, the way that I share with people is that Entrepreneurial Personality Types are, "That small group in the world that travels out into the future, imagines a new reality, comes back to the present, and insists it becomes real." And that's who we are.

If anybody listening has the slightest inkling, if your mind has ever told you, you're meant for more, you're meant to be more, do more, make an impact, leave more behind. Here's what I want you to know. That is the most rational part of your existence. What so many of us do is we spend our entire lives denying that voice until we finally lean in and we become who we always should have been.

And so if you're listening and you've ever even heard it or thought you heard it, or felt a little bit like that, I want you to know that if your mind developed the question, "Can I?" the answer is 100% always, "Absolutely, yes." Sterling G.: Wow. I love it. I've never felt more understood, and never more understood myself from when I started learning this from you, because I'm like, "Why do I literally never feel satisfied, no matter how much I achieve or how far I push, or what happens?" There's always a need for more. It's like people around me, I'm sure they've been saying this to you your whole life, they're like, "Why don't you just be happy?"

Alex Charfen: [inaudible 00:06:06] slow down. Stop making everybody else uncomfortable. Right?

Sterling G.: Yeah. Yeah.

Alex Charfen: Sit still. Sit still. Stop shaking. Right?

Sterling G.: When I was a little kid, all the time. Yeah. It's like, "When will it ever be enough for you?" The answer is ...

Alex Charfen: Never. There's an explanation for this Sterling, and I want everybody to understand this. See, if you look at the human condition today, we look at reality today and we say, "Oh, we're in this world of technology and comfort and convenience, and all these other things." But if we go back in human existence, back to where humans were actually in the process of evolving, in the process of surviving this planet, things were very different.

The entrepreneurs were the small part of the population that is the evolutionary hunter. We were the part of the human tribe that got up every day, made the commitment to the vulnerability and exposure of going out and killing something. That is a commitment to not coming home alive. That is a commitment to putting yourself out there. That is a commitment to being exposed. That is a commitment to literally risking your life every day.

And as entrepreneurs in today's world, that is still hard wired there. We are still that percentage of the population that wants to go out and make things happen. And so the entrepreneurial personality type is driven in a way that the rest of the population isn't. So when you say, "I thought I never was going to be understood because I want to make progress, I want to do this, I want to go forward and I'm never satisfied."

Well, let's just take a step back and examine whether you think evolution created human beings, or some type of intelligent design, or God, or the Big Bang or whatever it is for you. Here's the fact, entrepreneurs keep the human tribe alive, and we have been psychologically conditioned over millennia that as soon as we kill something, we have to go on another hunt.

And you know, and I know Sterling, that every time you have achieved a goal, as you approach the destination, it loses importance to you because we're not meant to stop, ever. We are meant to be on the hunt, making things happen and keeping this tribe alive. And that's who we are.

Sterling G.: I love this. One of the things that comes up so often in coaching, trainers and health coaches, a lot of them are new entrepreneurs. What many of them may not know is they actually have enemies, people that are against them, people that whether it's voices inside themselves or voices from the outside that are trying to stop them, or slow them down from achieving their dreams. Can you speak to, what are some of the enemies that entrepreneurs should be aware of that are going to try them, stop them, slow them down, keep them from their destiny?

Alex Charfen: Well, we need to know that there's a natural conflict between us and a very large percentage of the world. The way that I share this with people is that entrepreneurs get up every day and we challenge the status quo. We ask what can be made better and we want the world to evolve. But when you look at the average population, here's the reality, the world at large clings average and worships the status quo. They want everything to be the same.

In fact, the other personality types in the world, most of them want things to be the same. And so there is a percentage of people in the world who fight against us just because we get up every day and try and change things. There's a percentage of people in the world who fight against us just because we get up every day and say, "I am worthy of changing the status quo." And there's a percentage of the people in the world that get up every day and they are against us. They want to red tape us out of existence. They want to regulate us out of existence because we threatened who they are.

And so if you've ever felt judged or looked down on, or made to feel less than, when you are expressing your truth, I want you to know it's because you're expressing it to someone who is opposed to who we are, and they are not your tribe. So stay away from them.

Sterling G.: What's so interesting is that I can remember ... I mean I've only been an entrepreneur a short time. I mean, let's see, it's been three and a half years, maybe four, if I push it out. It's like, it's still relatively new. I knew most of my life as a non-entrepreneur thinking that that was going to be my life. I actually used to think that I would always work a job. I would barely make it. I would barely get by, paycheck to paycheck kind of existence. I just didn't believe that more was possible.

I think a big reason for that was the people that I was surrounding myself with, that they are exactly what you're talking about, more certainty minded, more like sameness minded. So if somebody is surrounded by people right now, which I think most people that are not yet entrepreneurs or new entrepreneurs are, like they're surrounded by people that are certainty minded. How do they break out of that and get into a new community? How do they start to make friends and connections outside that world?

Alex Charfen: I mean, well Sterling, the obvious answer is, you do this, I do this. We create communities where people can become better entrepreneurs. You know, I've attended one of your events. I saw the people sitting in the room who only months prior were working a job. Some of them getting paid close to minimum wage, some of them not even paying their bills. Then sitting there and sharing how their entire lives have changed because they found a community where they finally felt normal.

And so I might sound a little harsh when it comes to this, but here's how I look at it. The people, the places, the things in your life are either giving you momentum or they're taking it away. It's binary. And so as an entrepreneur, or someone who thinks you might be, my suggestion is you sit down and you make a list.

What are all the people in your life that are not giving you momentum? What are all the things in your life that are not giving you momentum? What are all the places that you go in your life that are not giving you momentum? Break those loose, break those spirals. Stop doing those things. What you'll see is when you reduce the amount of exposure you have to what does not give you momentum, your momentum in life will naturally go up.

Sterling G.: Wow.

Alex Charfen: When you take away the things that are pulling your energy away, your energy will naturally go up, and your perspective in the world will shift. Here's what I can tell you. You don't know what the world looks like when you're not under pressure and noise, until you eliminate it, and then you see how people do what they do. Here's what's interesting, Sterling, you just said you've only been an entrepreneur for three and a half years.

When you look at the world at large, three million dollar businesses in the United States, there's only 300,000, and in the total United States, there's 29 million businesses. So Sterling, you're in this tiny, little pocket of 300,000 entrepreneurs who have broken through to a three million dollar business. Only 3% ever get to a million dollar business.

When I look at how you've done it over the past year, you have dramatically lowered the noise in your life. In fact, that's the conversation we had yesterday. You have consistently and systematically increased how much support you have in your life, and you've gotten really clear about who you serve and who you care about, and the impact you're going to make.

I mean, I can tell anybody who's listening to this, I know Sterling really well, he loses sleep over whether he's going to make an impact or not, like literally loses sleep, gets emotional. I'm sure you're okay with me sharing this, but like literally has had breakdowns in my presence because he cares so much about his clients. I think Sterling, you made that transition, that connection, that feeling, because you've been insistent about becoming who you want to be.

Sterling G.: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Mm-hmm (affirmative). Thank you for sharing that. Yeah. One thing that you say so often, a phrase that you so often to talk about things that we have to get rid of in our life is, "Pressure and noise."

Alex Charfen: Yeah.

Sterling G.: Can you speak to what pressure and noise means?

Alex Charfen: Absolutely, Sterling. I think in the world of being an evolutionary hunter, an Entrepreneurial Personality Type, we are told that there's all types of things that are causing us pain. We start to categorize that pain like, "Oh, I'm sick" or, "I have this" or, "I have this challenge," or, "This person," or whatever it is. Here's what I want everyone to understand. Pressure and noise anywhere in your life creates pressure and noise everywhere in your life.

As entrepreneurs, here's the challenge we have with being under pressure and noise. Here's the challenge we have with feeling like we're in constraint. Every single one of us, including Sterling, including me, has been through a period of time in our lives where we were losing, where we were not going to win. Where we didn't have the right resources, where we didn't have what we needed. Where the light at the end of the tunnel was so vague and so far away, we could barely see it.

But we moved towards it and we believed in it. And everybody else in our lives was saying, "Hey, that light at the end of the tunnel is a train." But we didn't listen, and we kept moving towards it and we compelled that light towards us, and we finally stepped through it. And that is where we created our lives. But here's the challenge, going through that pressure, going through that noise, conditions us to feel like we should always be subject to pressure and noise.

And so here's what I want you to understand as an entrepreneur, you will always be uncomfortable. There will always be pressure and noise in your life, because I tell people to eliminate it and they're like, "But what will motivate me?" Well, here's what will motivate you. The impact you want to make, the income you want to create, the contribution you want to make, the people you care about, they will always drive you. So everywhere else in your life, eliminate noise like it's your job. Guard your focus like your life depends on it, because it does.

Sterling G.: You know, you talking about this, I think I shared this briefly on our group coaching call, I've definitely shared it with you many times in conversations, but it's interesting like moving from a place where you really don't need any more business, like you really don't need your business to grow to meet really all of your needs. Now it's about making a bigger difference. It was interesting making that transition through working with you is like realizing, "Oh shit, I have literally been running my business from a place of, 'I'm afraid of being homeless again.'"

Alex Charfen: Yeah, it's running away from.

Sterling G.: And running away from. Yeah, running away from living out of my car, which I did obviously not that long ago. Now I'm running to ... you talk about running towards actually like making a bigger difference, more freedom, more service. Can you talk about that difference between running away, or running away versus running to?

Alex Charfen: Absolutely Sterling. This is such an important topic, I've actually recorded several podcasts on it. If somebody goes back to the archive yesterday, I think it's podcast number 28 is on this topic. Before I get into the details, I just want to tell everyone listening, one of the reasons I feel like Sterling is such an extraordinary entrepreneur is that in less than 48 months, he's literally gone from living out of his car, to running a three million dollar plus business with a team who loves him, with clients who think he's amazing.

I have insider information, I'm not making this up, my salesperson, or the guy who runs sales for me has a brother on Sterling's team, and we hear all the time how amazing the culture is, and how incredible it is, and how progressive it is. The reason is that Sterling's just completely changed who he is.

I think this is when you say, "Running away from," here's what happens to us as entrepreneurs, a lot of our early career, and a lot of our early successes are motivated by running away from what we don't want to feel anymore. We don't want to feel broke. We don't want to feel pain. We don't want to feel insignificant. We don't want to feel like we don't have anything going on. So we run like crazy away from something.

But then here's what happens. There's this realization that most entrepreneurs, not all, but a lot come to where they reach this point and say, "Wait a second, I'm safe. I have the money I need. I have the team I need. I could not get up tomorrow and money is still going to come in. I don't have to be driving as hard as I'm driving."

We literally have to decouple from the energy of running away, and we have to engage on the energy of running towards. And that is one of the biggest transitions we go through as an entrepreneur because what it requires us to do is define that destination we are running towards. What do we really want? Who do we really want to be? What does our perfect day look like? What's the contribution we want to make in the world?

And that shift is so profound, but I want you to know, most entrepreneurs never get there in their thirties, forties. A lot of times I have this conversation with people when they're in their fifties. Yesterday I had this conversation with Sterling at 28, and I'm like, "What the heck is going on? How are you getting here in such a short period of time?"

It's just that transition usually takes forever. But Sterling, I just think it's you don't learn, you devour content and information. I mean, to call you a sponge, isn't even fair. It's like this massive suction that just takes all the information, "I want everything." You can see just how well you apply it because you're making this transition.

Sterling G.: Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. That is so big for my students too. If they feel like they're just running towards like, "I need to make six grand this month. I need to make 10 grand this month," then that can feel pretty hollow. I mean, sure you could get there. You can make the money and whatever, pay for your house and pay for a thing for your family. But the end of the day you go to bed, and you're like, "Well, what is it all for?"

Entrepreneurs all have that kind of question that's nagging us until we consistently answer, "Well, what is it all for?" I think that since I learned this framework, and I started to implement that into my brands, my ethos, like that's where we decided to focus everything on become a life changer, become someone that changes lives for a living. What exactly are you going to live for as a fit pro? Are you going to live for, "Hey, I'm hawking these supplements, or, "Hey, heck out my booty pics from this summer"? Or is it going to be about, "Here's the difference, that I want to make for others. I want the transformation that came through me to not die with me. I want it to spread and become more."

Alex Charfen: Yes. I think that's why you've experienced such explosive growth, and why your clients are getting the results that they're getting, Sterling. I mean, you start taking people out of that feeling of lack, that feeling of not having enough, that feeling of having to run away from, and paint a different picture, and life changes.

Sterling G.: Yes. So I want to shift to this. You have created over time this framework for understanding what a business needs to focus on, what a business owner needs to focus on at the different revenue stages in order to move from one level of sales and income, to the next level.

It's genius actually. I literally have it on my bathroom wall, on my bathroom mirror, excuse me. Whenever I look in the mirror, I look at the Billionaire Code, it's called the Billionaire Code. I just want to ask, you tell people, "If you're making this much money to do this. If you're making this was ready to do this." Can you just talk about for the person that is just beginning their business, maybe they're working a job right now, they just want to get to a full-time income. What do they need to focus on to make that transition?

Alex Charfen: Okay. So initially if you want to get to a full-time income, and you're working a job right now, you have to take care of yourself. And so what we tell people to do is look at morning routines, at making sure you're productive, that you know how to set an outcome and achieve it. You as a human being are going to drive this entire business for its existence until you sell it or move on. And so you have to take care of yourself, get your feet on the ground, and you have to understand yourself.

Then immediately following that, you need to know who you want to serve and why. I think one of the biggest challenges that entrepreneurs have is that they never defined who they want to serve. They have this idea of what they want to do, but they don't know who they're doing it for. And so flip that around. It doesn't matter what you do, it's who you're doing it for. So define that person, understand them. Then immediately following that, you got to line them up to talk to you.

And so when you're starting out, take care of yourself. Figure out who you want to serve, and then leverage lead generation so that you're lining them up and you can get them to come towards you. And with that you can hit six figures and beyond. It's that simple.

Sterling G.: So talk about that for a second. You talked about, most people ask the question, I think, "What do I want to do?"

Alex Charfen: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Sterling G.: Which is like a passion question, but they fail to ask the question. You're saying, flip that on its head and say, "Who do you want to serve? Who do you care about?"

Alex Charfen: Yeah. Yeah. Sterling, here's one of the biggest, biggest problems with entrepreneurship is that people have an idea, and then they think the idea is going to win. But ideas don't win without a market. And ideas really in today's world of business, ideas don't win without a movement. So you can't just sell products anymore, you have to get people involved in what you're doing and who you are. You can't just have a really good solution. You actually have to have a community around it and a movement around it and have people moving towards it altogether.

And so today, becoming a successful entrepreneur is about so much more than just having a product that you think people are going buy. It's understanding who you're selling, the effect you're going to have, and making sure you're the best in the world at it.

Sterling G.: So just those few core skills of, "Hey, here's my personal routines. I'm making sure I'm taking care of myself." And by the way, that is so huge. I see it all the time with my students. One of the first things that they can often kind of miss is that there's a massive transition that happens between employee and entrepreneur. Having your schedule built for you every day, to you building your schedule, you're responsible. Too many people can kind of miss that, whoa, this is like you're literally becoming ... you're taking on a new identity.

Alex Charfen: Yeah, you're turning pro.

Sterling G.: You're turning pro. That's what you're talking about is, unless you give attention to that, that certainly doesn't happen automatically. You got to know how you're going to live your time and use your time and spend your time in a way that optimizes you.

Alex Charfen: Sterling, just so everybody understands how seriously we are about this, we coach businesses up to tens of millions. We just signed a guy who has a testing company. He's like a 36 million dollar business. Step one in our coaching of growing and scaling your business is learning how to drink water and stay hydrated.

We have frameworks for everything. We show you how to hire. We should how to have meetings, how to plan, to really grow a business fast. But step one is, let's make sure you're hydrated. Your feet are on the ground, you're present and you're aware. It's interesting, we'll have people come into the program and it's not an insignificant expense to join one of our programs. It's tens of thousands of dollars. The first thing we do is we started talking about water, and some of them are taken aback.

But here's what's interesting. The ones who have been around, the ones who've been there, like the guy who has a 30 million dollar business, he was impressed by it. He's like, "I've never seen another coaching company that starts with the human being." And obviously that's where you're going to win.

Sterling G.: So good. So I remember that. I did the 10 day water challenge soon as I joined. Holy shit, I was snotting everywhere. I was peeing constantly. I had to get rid of a bunch of toxins. Thank God I did, I felt so much better. Just water. It's crazy.

Alex Charfen: Just water.

Sterling G.: Yeah. So that's where you start. Then ask the question, who do you want to serve? Then get a simple system that allows those people to come to you consistently, leverage legion, you call it.

Alex Charfen: That's it.

Sterling G.: Okay. That's to a six figure business. All right, so as we start to wrap this up Charfen, I just want to first of all acknowledge you and say, working with you has been definitely easily the greatest mentorship experience of my life as an entrepreneur. I don't say that ... like I said, I've had dozens of them, but I mean the proof is in the pudding, I'm still here, 18 months later we're still going strong. I'm still having my life changed by you every single month.

I know that one thing that I really respected about you when I first met you is, I really wanted somebody who had been in business not for a year, not for a couple of years, but had been in this game for decades, and drew from that experience with which to serve their clients. I just really honor you as one of the like real, actual business badasses that are serving entrepreneurs today, and I couldn't be more grateful that you're doing this work, man.

Alex Charfen: Thanks Sterling. I really appreciate it man. I remember having that when you just brought up that conversation we had when you first got involved with us. I remember telling you like, "We'll see." Here's part of the reason that I said that Sterling is I could tell in that first conversation that there was something completely unique and special about you, and I told you that.

I don't know if you thought I was real or blowing smoke at that point to get a deal, but I truly believed that, and I still believe that. It's been incredible watching you over the past 18 months. But dude, the past six had been something completely different.

The rate of evolution, the rate of growth has been something that my team and I actually talk about. You're a topic of conversation often because we say things like, "Look at the speed with which Sterling's doing this. How do we get everybody else to do it the same way?" And so I just want you to know that, you inspire us right back brother.

Sterling G.: Thank you. Thank you, Alex. All right, so if somebody wants to learn more about the Billionaire Code, they want to learn the Billionaire Code. They want to find out more from you, learn from more from you, where do you think is the best place for them to go?

Alex Charfen: That's easy, Sterling. If they go to, we just set up a new funnel where you can do three things. One, you can get the full definition of the Billionaire Code. Check it all out, look at all nine levels that you go from zero to a hundred million dollars with clarity what you need right now.

Second, we've got a new book called, The Billionaire Code Decoded. So we have a written explanation of every level. If you haven't seen it, Sterling, it's pretty incredible.

Sterling G.: Wow.

Alex Charfen: Then the third, if you want and you're interested, you can set up a call with a member on my team to understand what we do, but is the easiest place to go.

Sterling G.: Amazing, amazing. And they are listening to this on a podcast. I think it's worth mentioning. You have an amazing podcast called, the Momentum Podcast. I've listened to dozens, dozens, and dozens of episodes, probably over a hundred episodes by now, and just like genius stuff for entrepreneurs. So if you're interested in more awesome podcasts, that's another huge one.

Alex Charfen:

Sterling G.: There we go. Cool. All right, Alex. Well, with all my guests, I do the same LifeChanger sign off. It's peace, love, and gains. Are you ready to do it at the same time?

Alex Charfen: Let's do it. How do I do it again

Sterling G.: Okay, so you do, peace.

Alex Charfen: Peace.

Sterling G.: We'll do it together. Peace. Group: Love.

Sterling G.: And then ... Group: Gains.

Sterling G.: Okay, let's do it.

Alex Charfen: Okay. Three, two, one. Group: Peace, love and gains.

Sterling G.: Whoo-hoo.

Alex Charfen: Love you, brother. I hope you enjoyed that. Just like I said on the podcast, if you want more information about how we can help you grow your business, understand yourself better, move forward, and really start to scale a business like you've always wanted to, go to We look forward to hearing from you.

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