Momentum Podcast: 902

Final Episodes 3 of 6 Body Momentum Through Transparency

by Alex Charfen

Episode Description

In this episode of the Momentum Podcast, join Alex as he delves into the critical concept of radical transparency in both personal and professional life. With a candid reflection on his own journey, Alex explores how avoiding honesty can impact our physical health and decision-making processes. Through personal anecdotes and insights, he highlights the transformative power of listening to one's body, adopting embodiment practices, and prioritizing happiness over external validation. Tune in to discover how embracing transparency and self-care can lead to greater fulfillment and momentum in your life.

Full Audio Transcript

Thank You For Listening!

This is the Momentum podcast.

Years ago, I made a post on Facebook. It said, your body will show your lack of transparency. And that's all I put. And I had a ton of questions and it created this discussion. And today I want to go deeper on this concept of how when we lack transparency in the world, it affects our body, it affects our nervous system, it affects who we are. I think this is one of the biggest opportunities for you as a visionary entrepreneur to get in your body. Create massive momentum and remove so much of the constraint that the general population and so many people deal with.

I'm Alex Charfen, and this is the Momentum Podcast made for empire builders, game changers, trailblazers, shot takers, record breakers, world makers, and creators of all kinds. Those among us who can't turn it off and don't know why anyone would want to. We challenge complacency, destroy apathy, and we are obsessed with creating momentum so we can roll over bureaucracy and make our greatest contribution. Sure, we pay attention to their rules, but only so We can bend them, break them, then rewrite them around our own will. We don't accept our destiny, we define it. We don't understand defeat because you only lose if you stop and we don't know how. While the rest of the world strives for average and clings desperately to the status quo, We are the minority, the few, who are willing to hallucinate there could be a better future. And instead of just daydreaming of what could be, we endure the vulnerability and exposure it takes to make it real. We are the evolutionary hunters, clearly the most important people in the world because entrepreneurs are the only source of consistent positive human evolution, and we always will be.

So this is the third of the final six momentum podcasts and I'm having so much fun recording these. You know, it's a little bittersweet. It's bittersweet to give this up. It's bittersweet to stop doing something I've been doing since 2016. It's been eight years of recording this podcast 900 episodes and this is uh You Three of six of last one. So I've got three more. And as I started curating these final six episodes, I really wanted to look at what is the most important, what are the most important concepts? What do I want to leave behind? What do I want to give you to help you move your life forward and grow your business and getting your body and be more embodied, more present and aware. And this is a big one. Like I said, in the intro years ago, I made a post on Facebook and I just put a simple statement that said, your body will show your lack of transparency. And there was a bunch of discussion below it. I probably wasn't ready to have the full discussion yet. It was something that I was working through. And like I said, this was years and years ago. And now, I can fully embody and share what I meant by your body will show your lack of transparency.

See, I'm gonna start with a story. And this story is a composite of hundreds of entrepreneur stories I've heard in the last 30 years. But, let's just, Take an entrepreneur that I've been working with for a while and they've been dealing with a lot of stuff. They've been dealing with autoimmune issues. They've been dealing with not being able to sleep. They've had some central nervous system dysregulation. And when we talk, I can hear this central nervous system dysregulation. It's, you know, I've been autoimmune issues. I can't sleep. I'm having trouble waking up in the morning. I feel kind of, sometimes I feel wired, but I'm still tired. There's all this dysregulation and we'll talk for a while. And we start putting some tactics in place to fix things, like maybe some hydration, some movement in the morning, getting some morning sunlight. And then as time goes on and things aren't improving, you know, there's been a lot of people that I've coached where we start having discussions. And I say, like, what's going on? What else is going on in your life? What is causing you stress? What do you feel like is causing you constraint? What is causing you to pause? What do you think about in the back of your mind? And eventually, with a lot of people I've worked with, something comes out, and they'll say, I cheated on my husband six months ago and I haven't said anything or, I have this conversation I know I need to have with one of my parents and I just haven't had it and it's eating me up or I don't really love the business I'm in and I'm getting up every morning and pushing through it and trying to make it happen, but it's just not working. And in each of those cases, what happens when we're not real with ourselves, when we're not transparent with ourselves, when we're not honest with ourselves, it causes central nervous system dysregulation. If you do something like, unfortunately, cheat on your spouse, that is in the back of your mind, that lack of transparency that could create a massive crisis in your life is always there. If we're not communicating what's going on for us, it's always there. If we're not talking about, talking to the people we need to talk to, it's always there. And the more transparent a life we can live, the more radically honest, radically transparent a life we can live. The more regulated our central nervous system is, and this is science. You know, this isn't just woo woo. I mean I definitely dip far into the end of woo, the deep end of woo, but This is actually scientifically backed. When we cause central nervous system dysregulation it puts our body into a sympathetic nervous system response where it's triggered, it's reactive, it's working harder than it needs to work in the present moment. And when our body's working harder than it needs to work in the present moment, when we're in a parasympathetic nervous system reaction, we get that fight, fight, fawn, or freeze. All kinds of stuff start happening in our body. Our digestion slows down, our respiration changes, our heartbeat increases. We start using the wrong chemicals to motivate ourselves forward. Like this. Thyroid and sex hormones and cortisol instead of serotonin and dopamine and the good chemicals. And when we have this dishonesty, this lack of transparency, this lack of disclosure in our lives, it will wear us down.

It will wear down our bodies. It will wear down our immune system. It will wear down our ability to create momentum. It will wear down our ability to move forward. And this is what I meant by that original Facebook post. Your body will show your lack of transparency. If you are actively deceiving people, if you are actively not telling the truth, if you're actively holding back from saying what needs to be said, it will wear down your body. You will feel that in your body. There's an extraordinary book called the body keeps the score and I would highly recommend you read it. And it talks about how, when we have moments of trauma in our lives, that trauma is stored in our body. Well, when we're dishonest with people, when we exaggerate something, when we don't tell people what's really going on. That same discomfort, that same dysregulation is in our body from not being transparent, not being real. And when I say this is scientific, I want you to just also listen to the science. Central nervous system dysregulation is everything, but then also just let this wash over you. And what does your body tell you about whether I'm truthful or not right now? When I say that if you hold back from being honest, if you hold back from communicating, if you're not fully transparent with somebody, your body is going to feel that. If you really let that wash over you you'll feel it resonate as truth.

And so for us as entrepreneurs and for us as humans, the way that we can deal with this is to commit to radical transparency, radical transparency. That means telling the people around you what you need to tell them without holding back. And it means telling the people around you what's really happening for you in a way that's fully transparent. And it means telling people around you what you're really feeling, what's going on now. There is a caveat here. Yeah. Truth without compassion can be weaponized. And oftentimes when I talk in the past, when I've talked to entrepreneurs about transparency or radical transparency, they've seen it as an excuse to just dump all over everybody around them. Now telling someone the truth with compassion, they will hear you telling someone the truth with a lack of compassion and a lack of empathy that can be weaponized. So I want to make sure that When we talk about this, when we talk about radical transparency, it doesn't mean just going and telling everybody what you think and damaging them and making them feel bad and making them feel challenged. No, it's communicating in a way with compassion and empathy and making sure that as a human being, your goal should be that you have nothing to hide.

I'm 51 years old and Over the past couple of years, Cadey and I have done a tremendous amount of personal work and we've spent some time with some plant medicines with a number of different coaches and I can say that today at 50 as I sit here recording this podcast, I have nothing to hide from anybody. Everything that ever was something to hide has been out in the open. I've shared it in podcasts. I've shared it in recordings with other people. I've shared stuff on Facebook. I don't have anything that I feel like I need to hide from anyone in my life anymore. And the difference between before and after of having that feeling for me has been extraordinary. I'm someone who's always carried a lot of tension in my body. If you've heard my podcast or if you heard me talk, you probably heard me talk about this. I've always had a lot of excess tension, excess tone. Every therapist, every doctor I've ever worked with has said that, but in the past couple of years I'm starting to lose that tone. I'm starting to lose that tension. Like this is not healthy tone. This is tension. This is inflexibility. This is not being able to move. And once I was radically honest with everybody and got everything off the table and there's nothing left to hide, my body's actually bending in ways it didn't before. And my muscles are extending, my joints are extending, I feel more limber, I don't feel as much pain when I walk around. It's amazing even for me because I've been working on this for years, I've been a biohacker for decades, and I've been focused on my health for a long time. But just recently with letting go of everything, with being completely honest about everything, with telling Cadey everything I felt like I needed to tell her, with answering every question my kids ever have with radical honesty, with making the decision, the honest and transparent and integral decision to shut down our business, everything in my body feels better. I'm kind of getting a little emotional as I talk about this because For years, I felt like I was going to die with this excessive tension and this excessive tone. And that it would probably make it so I had trouble moving around later in life. Would probably cut down on any type of mobility I had or ability to enjoy life. And I'm an extreme case, but in order to start becoming flexible, it feels like what I had to do was get everything out of my life that was out of order, everything out of my life that was not what I wanted, everything out of my life that I was doing from obligation.

And when I was finally honest with myself, when Cadey and I were finally honest with each other, we sat down and we said, you know what, we don't want to run this business anymore. And we don't have to. There's nothing requiring us to run this business right now other than a feeling of obligation to members or obligation to our team or obligation to the content. And what we both realized was we don't want any feeling of obligation in our lives anymore. That feeling of obligation, like not being honest about the fact that I feel obligated, that I'm not excited about it anymore, that I don't really want to do it anymore. That was a lack of transparency with myself. I wasn't doing that with anybody else. I was forcing myself into a situation over and over again that I didn't want to be in. And, now that we've let go, now that we've made the decision. I actually feel it on a daily basis and there's some high contrast here because a few weeks ago we had an event for our company and I've been out of the company. I had been out of the company day to day for about 90 days. And on the morning of the event, I got up to go speak and my entire body was in pain. I felt joint pain. I felt inflammation. I had a little bit of a headache at the base of my neck. It was like, The universe was telling me my body was telling me I was doing the wrong thing. My body was telling me I was going in the wrong direction. My body was telling me I needed to make a change and that's why we did.

And I want you to know it hasn't always been like this. There has been times in my life where I am so stressed and I'm pushing so hard and I don't have embodiment practices in my life that actually get me in my body where I don't feel I didn't feel I was numb for so long and in pain and getting injured all the time and challenged all the time. When I started embodiment practices like time in neutral, that's what most people call meditation. I just like to call it time in neutral. It feels like there's less judgment there when I started doing the infrared sauna and cold plunge to sit there and do heat extremes and contrast to get in my body. When I started doing qigong and practices to cultivate energy, all of these embodiment practices, yoga, stretching, I do stretching every day. I do shoulder workouts every day. All of these are activities that I engage in so that I get in my body more so I am embodied more so I feel what's going on so I can feel in my body. If there's some type of a challenge because see this whole thing where your body will show your lack of transparency is not just a warning to say, "Hey, you need to be honest with everybody". It's a signal that if you feel something in your body, something's off. And if you feel it heavy in your body, if you feel it extreme in your body, if you feel it at a very high level in your body, then something's really off. And that's exactly what we just went through with the business closure.

And so as an entrepreneur, entrepreneurs ask me often, Alex, how do you make the best decisions? What's the best way to make a decision? What's the best way to move forward? And I always tell them the same thing. Trust your body. A lot of people say trust your gut. I say trust your body. Feel into the decision that you want to make. And if you are radically honest in the world and you have some embodiment practices and you stay hydrated and you take care of yourself and you get some exercise, here's what happens. This incredible instrument you have, your body will start showing you more, will start telling you more, will start guiding you more, will start moving you in the direction that you should go. Your body will actually help you access intuition and instinct in a way that most people don't. It will actually help you manifest because when you follow the wisdom of your body, the wisdom of your entire ancestral line is in your body today. The energetic of everyone who's ever lived before you is in your body today.

And when you trust your body, you trust that wisdom, you'll find you start making better decisions. You find you create more momentum in your life. You find you create more forward progress. You find you create more happiness. And you've already heard me talk about happiness over status as human beings. We actually have to choose happiness over status or else we'll just keep building and buying and building and buying and building and buying and building and buying and building and buying until we just create so much status that we realize The status is never going to make us happy like we want it to. It's really asking the question, what will make me happy right now? And your body will show you when you are transparent, when you take care of yourself, when there's a self care practice and embodiment practice, your body will become the most important tool you have to make decisions. And it's an unfair advantage because I've worked with Thousands of entrepreneurs in the past 30 years and the percentage that have any type of embodiment practice, the percentage that focus on using their body to make decisions, the percentage that are even aware that this exists is incredibly low. I'll often ask an entrepreneur, do you have an embodiment practice? And the question back is, what is that? And so if you want an unfair advantage and you want to be able to seek happiness and you want to be able to create massive momentum in your life. Radical transparency, embodiment practices, and taking care of yourself. You will find that your body Is like the GPS to create the happiness and success you've always wanted. You will feel it in your body.

I want to thank you for being a momentum podcast listener and thank you for being here for the final six episodes. If you would be willing to, I would really appreciate it if you leave a rating, I read every one of them personally. So does my team. So does my wife and we love getting them and As a goodbye gift to me for this podcast, not goodbye forever, there will be another one. I just don't know when, but as a goodbye gift to me, if you'd be willing to leave a review, I would really appreciate it. And thanks for being a momentum podcast listener. Thanks for being here with me. Thanks for your support for me. I appreciate you and hope you have an extraordinary momentum filled day. And remember the more transparent you are, the more momentum you will naturally create. Thanks for being here.

I am truly grateful that you have chosen to spend your time listening to me and my podcast.

Please feel free to reach out if you have a question or feedback via our Contact Us page.

Please leave me a review on iTunes and share my podcast with your friends and family.

With gratitude,

Alex

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